“America’s Hottest College Girl ’09”

By Steve Pessah

the University of Delaware student is at it again. Laurel, a sophmore from Wilmington, Delaware, is trying to overcome Kristy from Penn State in the 2009 Championship. College Humor hosts an annual competition that mirrors the NCAA march madness brackets. 64 girls square off to try and be named America’s Hottest College Girl, while people (mostly guys probably, but that’s just a guess) pick who they think will win. the winner gets $500 (not too shabby).

anyway, this tournament is counting down fast. voting ends at midnight, and the winner receives $5,000. currently, Laurel is behind by about 750 votes (down 46% to Kristy’s 54%), but it’s never too late to make a comeback. everyone get online and vote. lets show the country that even though UD has the worst advisement help, Greek life, and bar scene, we can still brag about having the hottest girls (and no sales tax).

Comic Relief

By Matt Burke

Time to share my secret cache of hilarity for all to enjoy.

Sometimes crude, sometimes taboo, always ridiculous, and always hilarious are the comics from explosm.net titled “Cyanide and Happiness.” There are many internet comic series floating around, and if you’re a big stumbler, you already know this. None, however, come remotely close to the guaranteed delivery of Cyanide. The comic tackles issues that include politics, current issues, rape (child and adult), necrophilia, masturbation, hitting kids (in and out of the womb), historic tragedies, relationships (dude on dude), wet dreams, racism, amputees, animal cruelty (the good kind and the bad kind), menstruation, just plain awkwardness, and anything else you can think of. In short: it’s got what you want.

The comic is written and illustrated by a group of five cartoonists, so updates will usually come daily. The staple of my morning routine is checking the new comic, which fits in perfectly after my morning whack off, and right before my second morning whack off.

Some may know the comic from its time-to-time appearances on CollegeHumor, where it has recently garnered its larger followings, but the site and its comics have been around since early 2005. The next time you’re bored, just cruise the archives of Cyanide and Happiness, and you’ll turn that frown upside down.

Go forth and enjoy the boner you’re about to get (just don’t think of me when that time comes).

www.explosm.net/comics

One of my favorites