fmylife.com

By Steve Pessah

Work

Today, my boss fired me via text message. I don’t have a text messaging plan. I paid $0.25 to get fired. FML

Love

Today, the girl I love and I went to visit my parents out of state for the first time. My father grinned and acknowledged that she was a “keeper”, at which she laughed and said we were “just friends”. I was going to propose to her next week. FML

Sex

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend for the first time, and she asked me if I ever get made fun of in the locker room for my small penis. FML

Health (sort of)

Today, in class my friend played a joke on me by pulling my seat from under me while i was about to sit. I fell and everybody laughed at me. During the next class i did the same thing to him, he broke his arm. He was the star of the basketball team, nobody laughed. FML

Kids

Today, I got fired from a great baby sitting job because the little girl said I was boring. FML

Money

Today, my fiance “thought I should know” that she has a $125,000 student loan debt. FML

Miscellaneous

Today, I received my passport in the mail. They got my birthdate wrong. Then I picked up my birth certificate that I had sent in with the application. Turns out my parents have been celebrating my birthday on the wrong day for 16 years. FML

These are anecdotes from fmylife.com, a site where people can share their daily life stories, and understand that yes, everyone elses lives are f***ed too. Go on, laugh your ass off.